Saturday, August 12 - The Funeral
Vicky was well within her rights to have Tim's funeral very soon after he died, like she wanted to, but she knew people would want to come from far and wide to pay their respects, so she chose to have the funeral on Saturday.
We started the day by sleeping WAY in. All of this emotional stuff is exhausting. I had to wake everyone up at 9:45. Unfortunately we missed breakfast, so we got ready for the funeral and went to Vicky's house for lunch.
After lunch, all the boys took turns learning how to tie a tie. (The little boys had clip ons and their biggest difficulty was keeping their shirts tucked in. They did not succeed. They were, however, very well behaved during the ceremony, which is what was preferred.)
At 1:00, before the ceremony started, we said hello to people the Days haven't seen in 30 years, plus family and friends since then. So many people came, it was wonderful. We watched the pictures of Tim's life scroll through, which was good for the kids who had a hard time standing up front and crying with the grown ups.
They stayed together and watched the pictures, super excited to see themselves in most of them. They were the his precious babies!
At 1:50, we, as the family, went into another room, where the preacher prayed for us. When we went back in the room where Tim was in his casket, everyone was standing and we walked in together as a family and sat up front.
The ceremony was wonderful. The preacher knew Tim in seminary school and had great stories. He also preached the gospel and we listened to several gospel songs.
With Vicky in our car, we were the first car behind the hearse. I hope to never be in the front row again. Or be the first car behind the hearse.
Vicky did extremely well. She cried softly, and giggled when appropriate. In the car she and Michael cried a bit and laughed. On the way to the funeral, she asked him, "do you think your dad can see us now?" and Michael said, "I do think so." and he went on to talk about the story in the Bible about the man who went to heaven but wanted to come back to earth. I will have to look that one up. They both cried after that.
We pulled into the cemetery very solemn and Vicky said, "people are dying to get in here!" lol!! I told her it was too soon and she couldn't say that! Then we all cracked up. :-)
All the pall bearers were lined up along the wall at the mausoleum:
We watched them raise him up onto his "shelf," where Vicky will join him when it is her time.
By 3:00 or 4:00, we were back at the fellowship hall next to Vicky's house and ate with everyone else who came to the funeral that we didn't really know that well. After making small talk with Uncle Joe (Vicky's brother) Michael announced he was leaving. I finished up my conversation and went to find him in Vicky's house. He said he just had to get out of there. It was so loud and so crazy (and we have been in loud and crazy for several days), and he just needed to leave. No problem! We didn't get to say goodbye to everyone, but I know they understood.
All Michael's siblings weren't at the house until around 6:00. We sat around talking while the kids played outside. Liz started saying she has been craving pizza for a while, and we all agreed that sounded better than the ten casseroles we have been eating on for lunch and dinner for the last 4 days, so by 8:00 we ordered it and by 9:00 we ate it! In the living room! You don't even bring drinks in Mamaw's living room. It was crazy.
Eating pizza in the living room at 9:00. I turned to Vicky sitting next to me on the love seat and said, "I think this is my favorite part of the day." We giggled like teenagers at a slumber party and took a bite of the pizza that we thought was magically the most delicious pizza we had ever eaten. Then I put my head on her shoulder and told her I loved her.
Well, this is the most energy I've had in a while and the happiest I've felt in a while too.
Thank you, Jesus, for family. Thank you for sending your Son to die on a cross so my father in law is in heaven with you for all eternity. Thank you for his new body that will never have a drop of cancer in it. Thank you for bringing Tim and Vicky together to start the family that we have. Please continue to work in everyone's life as they deal with their grief. Especially Vicky.
We started the day by sleeping WAY in. All of this emotional stuff is exhausting. I had to wake everyone up at 9:45. Unfortunately we missed breakfast, so we got ready for the funeral and went to Vicky's house for lunch.
After lunch, all the boys took turns learning how to tie a tie. (The little boys had clip ons and their biggest difficulty was keeping their shirts tucked in. They did not succeed. They were, however, very well behaved during the ceremony, which is what was preferred.)
At 1:00, before the ceremony started, we said hello to people the Days haven't seen in 30 years, plus family and friends since then. So many people came, it was wonderful. We watched the pictures of Tim's life scroll through, which was good for the kids who had a hard time standing up front and crying with the grown ups.
They stayed together and watched the pictures, super excited to see themselves in most of them. They were the his precious babies!
 |
| After they scrolled all the way through, rock, paper, scissors kept them busy. |
At 1:50, we, as the family, went into another room, where the preacher prayed for us. When we went back in the room where Tim was in his casket, everyone was standing and we walked in together as a family and sat up front.
The ceremony was wonderful. The preacher knew Tim in seminary school and had great stories. He also preached the gospel and we listened to several gospel songs.
With Vicky in our car, we were the first car behind the hearse. I hope to never be in the front row again. Or be the first car behind the hearse.
Vicky did extremely well. She cried softly, and giggled when appropriate. In the car she and Michael cried a bit and laughed. On the way to the funeral, she asked him, "do you think your dad can see us now?" and Michael said, "I do think so." and he went on to talk about the story in the Bible about the man who went to heaven but wanted to come back to earth. I will have to look that one up. They both cried after that.
We pulled into the cemetery very solemn and Vicky said, "people are dying to get in here!" lol!! I told her it was too soon and she couldn't say that! Then we all cracked up. :-)
All the pall bearers were lined up along the wall at the mausoleum:
 |
| Terry (Jessica's husband), Michael (Jessica's oldest son), Uncle John (Tim's brother), Michael |
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| Michael (Jessica's oldest son), Uncle John (Tim's brother), Michael, Brad (Elisabeth's husband), and Nathanael |
 |
| One more short good bye. |
We watched them raise him up onto his "shelf," where Vicky will join him when it is her time.
By 3:00 or 4:00, we were back at the fellowship hall next to Vicky's house and ate with everyone else who came to the funeral that we didn't really know that well. After making small talk with Uncle Joe (Vicky's brother) Michael announced he was leaving. I finished up my conversation and went to find him in Vicky's house. He said he just had to get out of there. It was so loud and so crazy (and we have been in loud and crazy for several days), and he just needed to leave. No problem! We didn't get to say goodbye to everyone, but I know they understood.
All Michael's siblings weren't at the house until around 6:00. We sat around talking while the kids played outside. Liz started saying she has been craving pizza for a while, and we all agreed that sounded better than the ten casseroles we have been eating on for lunch and dinner for the last 4 days, so by 8:00 we ordered it and by 9:00 we ate it! In the living room! You don't even bring drinks in Mamaw's living room. It was crazy.
Eating pizza in the living room at 9:00. I turned to Vicky sitting next to me on the love seat and said, "I think this is my favorite part of the day." We giggled like teenagers at a slumber party and took a bite of the pizza that we thought was magically the most delicious pizza we had ever eaten. Then I put my head on her shoulder and told her I loved her.
Little did I know the best part of the day was yet to come.
The kids had been asking us to play hide-and-seek-tag with them for days, but every day we were all so drained from SADNESS that we said no. Well, they were so well behaved at the funeral, we decided to join them. But, we decided to tell them "five more minutes" and sneak out the back door to scare them. We were going to hide in the tobacco field and jump out and scare them, but we didn't all make it in, so only Michael and Brad were able to do that. Kara jumped out of her skin! So did Thad.
Meanwhile, we snuck around and had Vicky walk up from one side of the house to divert their attention, then we snuck around the other side of the house and hid behind a tree. They didn't see us until we ran across the yard to the fellowship hall.
These videos are dark because it was 10:00, but you can hear us having fun. :-)
Liz and I hid in Michael's bed of his pick up truck. Here are funny videos of what we heard while we were giggling in there.
Well, this is the most energy I've had in a while and the happiest I've felt in a while too.
Thank you, Jesus, for family. Thank you for sending your Son to die on a cross so my father in law is in heaven with you for all eternity. Thank you for his new body that will never have a drop of cancer in it. Thank you for bringing Tim and Vicky together to start the family that we have. Please continue to work in everyone's life as they deal with their grief. Especially Vicky.
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