This is really 5 posts in 1

This weekend was my birthday, which I love.  I am not one of those people who are afraid to age or is running away from my 30s or is pretending I'm 29 again.  I LOVE being 35.  My 30s have been wonderful.  All my stupidity and insecurities of my 20s are over.  I am secure in who I am in the Lord, I'm secure in my marriage, I'm secure in motherhood, I'm secure in my job as a homeschooler, I'm even secure in my Shrek-like stature.  I know who I am and besides the sins I'm always working on with God, I'm fine with who I am.  The rest just doesn't matter anymore.  So bring it!  I love my birthday and I love hearing everyone in my life tell me they love me!  Facebook is a great place to be on your birthday too, isn't it?

Over the last few weeks, I spent as much time as possible with my dear friend Stephanie.  She is out of town for the rest of the summer and we will be moving before she gets home.  The desperation in my heart to see her as much as possible was exhausting.  Listen, from about early May through the end of June, we haven't seen each other much - her son had his tonsils and adenoids removed, we went to Alabama, and one thing after another came up.  Then around mid June Kara and I got sick and I, once again, could not see them.  It was incredibly frustrating!  I kept feeling like, this is the only time I get with her!  So, we kept pushing it to see her, even though we were miserable and would get set back - the whole next day we would be in bed and couldn't see her.  Stephanie is my best friend and her daughter, Ellie, is Kara's best friend.  They are both very thoughtful, kind, sensitive people - the kind of people who are the BEST friends and never hurt your feelings ever.  Kara needs that at this point in her hormonal/sensitive life.  Every other friend hurts her feelings and makes her cry and cry and cry.  (I keep telling her not to be so sensitive and to realize they're just kids and don't think first before they say things, BUT, she is just like her mother and I know EXACTLY how she feels.  Because I felt that way in every friendship until about a few years ago.  Goodness.  I hope it doesn't take that long for her.)  But, I digress.  Now Stephanie and her family are at their vacation house and it's over.  While I'm a bit sad, I am also kind of relieved.  The I-only-have-three-more-days-with-her-so-I-can't-do-anything-else feeling is gone.  I feel like I'll still see her with every visit home.  Other than my parents and sister, Stephanie is a person I will ALWAYS make time to see with every visit.  I feel like we will all be able to Skype and stay in each other's lives.  Stephanie and I always message each other anyway, so nothing will change there.  Anyway, now I'm getting back to normal life and going to allow my body to fully heal - because 2 and a half weeks is way too long for Kara and I to be sick with a virus.

I packed on Friday, Sunday, and Wednesday.  (My mom helped on Wednesday and it was fabulous!)  You know me, I am extremely organized and have had a plan on what to pack and in what order for forever.  If we were just moving from this house to the next house, I would not be so anal, but we are moving from this house to the rental house (where I will not be unpacking every box, where I will need to keep every box I empty to repack in a few months) to the big house.  I need to really think about what I want to unpack in the rental, what I want to keep in boxes, where I want to store the boxes that are still packed, etc.  I can't just wrap things I am not unpacking in the rental with winter coats, because I will need those.  Probably.  Maybe.  It gets cold in Alabama eventually, right?  So, here is what my list looks like now.  (Yes, typing DONE in all caps is the best feeling ever after I pack that particular line item.)

As you can see, once our move date was pushed from August 17 to July 29 and I lost about 3 weeks, I had to divide up when I would have time to pack each thing.  I needed to see that I can actually do it in such a short time.  Especially since we have so many plans with friends and family and doctors appointments.  Anyway, since Friday, I have done line 21 - 26.  SWEET!  As you can see, I'm trying to save our bedrooms and bathrooms for last so we can still pack all day elsewhere in the house and go to bed feeling like life is still normal.

Oh!  Let me tell you about my stitches removal yesterday.  First of all, my back hardly hurt at all after the surgery.  Like I said they dug down 2 inches to remove that sucker.  You'd think I would have needed an ibuprofen or something.  Nope.  It was a little achy and sore the second day (the first day I was still all numb from the surgery), but it wasn't anything I couldn't ignore if I was doing something.  And it certainly didn't stop me from making sweet tea, doing laundry, etc.  By the third day, it was Friday and I spent 2 hours packing 6 boxes full of appliances from my armoire in my dining room (line item #21, if you're keeping track).  I felt great.  As long as you didn't push on it, of course.  Which is hard not to do if someone hugs you.  By the fourth day, it was Saturday and I felt fine.  Only the stitches were annoying.  And I spent from Saturday to Wednesday just waiting for my appointment so I could have them removed already.  I expected to change into a gown again, lay down on the table again, and prepare myself that it will either hurt really badly to get those numbing shots again, or they would take the stitches out without the numbing shots and that would really hurt. (I've never had stitches removed before, so I didn't know what to expect.)  The doctor came in and pulled my shirt up to look at the stitches.  He said they looked great, shook my hand, and wished me well.  The nurse had gloves on by now and scissors in her hand.  She was talking away and asking me about Alabama when she brought a string around to put on the table.  I asked, "are you removing the stitches now?"  She said yes, brought another string around, and said she was done.  lol.  I didn't feel a thing!  I attribute that to the weird properties of back skin and how insensitive it is.  She put tape on it to encourage it to continue to heal and sent me on my way.  That took about 3 or 4 minutes.  So easy!  Unfortunately the biopsy results weren't back yet, so I don't know for sure if they got it all yet. If not, I'll go back and have them dig more out.  I'm not afraid of that, thank goodness.  I just think it would be inconvenient with the move and all.  So, I came home afterwards and packed some more with my mom.

So, that's what I've been up to.  And this is how I'm feeling.  Saying goodbye to people is exhausting. Squeezing visits in when I really need to be packing is exhausting.  Packing is exhausting.  Keeping my anxiety in check is exhausting.  Running around to the doctor and dentist and getting more duct tape and boxes is exhausting.  Having this dumb virus is exhausting.  Making sure Kara is cool with the move, able to still see friends, and have something like a normal life is exhausting.  All of this exhausting is physical and emotional.  I feel like now that we are less than a month away, this month is incredibly packed and I don't have a second to sit still and rest away the exhaustion.  Busy is good, it keeps the sadness and anxiety away, but I really need more down time than I'm getting.  I keep reminding myself that when we don't know anyone in Alabama in August, I'm going to have a TON of down time.  But, I have Kara to consider.  She will need to meet some friends asap.  Hopefully she will at church or around the neighborhood.  I'm really fine just not having friends for a month though.  ;-)  Then we'll be back in Maryland in September for our first visit since my uncle and cousin are coming into town.

All of you who are praying for our move, I thank you so much.  Please keep it up - God has shown Himself every step of the way, and it means more to me than I can express!

Up next:  the home inspection.  That is the only thing left to negotiate and the only thing that could excuse the buyers from their contract, which would make us have to start all over.  Everything in my house is new, so I'm not expecting anything the inspector would find to be a deal breaker, but you never know!