Balanced
I am a list kind of girl. We all know this. I like to have a plan, I like it organized, and I like crossing things off that list - the feeling of accomplishment is awesome.
The problem with this plan? If I don't cross everything off that list, those things stare at me. They yell at me. They call me names like procrastinator, lazy, and sometimes even failure (but that's mostly hormonal days). So, my focus is not always on the most important thing, but on getting those things crossed off my list.
Don't get me wrong, most of the time it's a good thing. I get a lot done, my home is clean and organized (for the most part), like I like it, and guests are always welcome and feel at home. Bible study gets done, Kara's school gets done, bills get paid, friends/family get my love and attention, etc.
I'm sure you all know the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible. I am SO a Martha. While it's nice that she got things done and made the home a welcome place for Jesus, she didn't just chill and hang out with him. I used to think being a Martha was a bad thing and I was bad. Evil even - didn't she love Jesus at all? What's her problem? What's my problem? Then I realized Martha is awesome, she just needed some balance. Do the chores and get things ready, just don't forget to hang out with Jesus when He's here. (And p.s., Mary has her own flaws. Maybe if she helped Martha with the chores to begin with, Martha could have had time to relax with Jesus. How long had Mary known Martha - she knew that's how she was.) Anyway, I'm happy being a Martha. It's who I am. It's who I've always been. It's okay. Martha is okay. The world can't have all Marys and the world can't have all Marthas. We're both important. The point is - focus, balance, and priorities.
I have allowed myself to get out of balance again. While home schooling, I focus on what day of the year we're on (92), what day of the year public school is on (95) and how far ahead or behind I am. I am also focused on accomplishing every line of every worksheet for the day. Even if Kara "gets it" and doesn't need the practice, the worksheet can't look blank, so we MUST do it. If we are behind on memorizing Bible verses, I cut back on the Bible stories so we can memorize instead. I care about Kara's grades (not to the point that I stress her about it, but I feel it reflects on how I teach). And the list goes on and on.
Wanna know something cool? The stuff that stresses me - that stuff in the previous paragraph - doesn't matter. When I met with the home school reviewer, she did not care about any of that. She didn't care what day we were on (she didn't even care how many days we do school a year), she didn't care about Kara's grades, she didn't care that we were doing the second grade stuff, she didn't care that I filled in the worksheets while Kara dictated them to me since she doesn't like writing, she didn't care about Bible memorization, SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT CURSIVE! Ah, the list goes on and on. And I have spent the last week on a little high, embracing what she did care about - hands on learning, pictures of field trips, and progress throughout the year.
Then I got a little nugget of wisdom from a home school mom I'd never met before who didn't even know she was encouraging me. She said, she never focused on WHAT her children would be when they grew up, but WHO they would be. I. loved. that. She has a son that was never good at school and was always a little behind and didn't get good grades. He is now a plumber, which he absolutely loves. He does not make a ton of money, but he is on fire for God. She said she's a success as a mother and home schooler because her son is on fire for God. Who cares how much money he makes? And you know what? She's right. As I am feeling set free from the home school reviewer, that was the perfect lesson for me to hear for direction to fly. As long as I instill who God is to Kara, as long as she knows His love, the rest is just extra.
I'm feeling balanced again and excited for where home school is going to take us. :-) Time to let my inner-Mary out to balance my Martha-ness.
The problem with this plan? If I don't cross everything off that list, those things stare at me. They yell at me. They call me names like procrastinator, lazy, and sometimes even failure (but that's mostly hormonal days). So, my focus is not always on the most important thing, but on getting those things crossed off my list.
Don't get me wrong, most of the time it's a good thing. I get a lot done, my home is clean and organized (for the most part), like I like it, and guests are always welcome and feel at home. Bible study gets done, Kara's school gets done, bills get paid, friends/family get my love and attention, etc.
I'm sure you all know the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible. I am SO a Martha. While it's nice that she got things done and made the home a welcome place for Jesus, she didn't just chill and hang out with him. I used to think being a Martha was a bad thing and I was bad. Evil even - didn't she love Jesus at all? What's her problem? What's my problem? Then I realized Martha is awesome, she just needed some balance. Do the chores and get things ready, just don't forget to hang out with Jesus when He's here. (And p.s., Mary has her own flaws. Maybe if she helped Martha with the chores to begin with, Martha could have had time to relax with Jesus. How long had Mary known Martha - she knew that's how she was.) Anyway, I'm happy being a Martha. It's who I am. It's who I've always been. It's okay. Martha is okay. The world can't have all Marys and the world can't have all Marthas. We're both important. The point is - focus, balance, and priorities.
I have allowed myself to get out of balance again. While home schooling, I focus on what day of the year we're on (92), what day of the year public school is on (95) and how far ahead or behind I am. I am also focused on accomplishing every line of every worksheet for the day. Even if Kara "gets it" and doesn't need the practice, the worksheet can't look blank, so we MUST do it. If we are behind on memorizing Bible verses, I cut back on the Bible stories so we can memorize instead. I care about Kara's grades (not to the point that I stress her about it, but I feel it reflects on how I teach). And the list goes on and on.
Wanna know something cool? The stuff that stresses me - that stuff in the previous paragraph - doesn't matter. When I met with the home school reviewer, she did not care about any of that. She didn't care what day we were on (she didn't even care how many days we do school a year), she didn't care about Kara's grades, she didn't care that we were doing the second grade stuff, she didn't care that I filled in the worksheets while Kara dictated them to me since she doesn't like writing, she didn't care about Bible memorization, SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT CURSIVE! Ah, the list goes on and on. And I have spent the last week on a little high, embracing what she did care about - hands on learning, pictures of field trips, and progress throughout the year.
Then I got a little nugget of wisdom from a home school mom I'd never met before who didn't even know she was encouraging me. She said, she never focused on WHAT her children would be when they grew up, but WHO they would be. I. loved. that. She has a son that was never good at school and was always a little behind and didn't get good grades. He is now a plumber, which he absolutely loves. He does not make a ton of money, but he is on fire for God. She said she's a success as a mother and home schooler because her son is on fire for God. Who cares how much money he makes? And you know what? She's right. As I am feeling set free from the home school reviewer, that was the perfect lesson for me to hear for direction to fly. As long as I instill who God is to Kara, as long as she knows His love, the rest is just extra.
I'm feeling balanced again and excited for where home school is going to take us. :-) Time to let my inner-Mary out to balance my Martha-ness.
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