Moles
I already typed this out as a message to my friend, so I'm copying it here. I typed this yesterday, Tuesday.
The dermatologist I saw last week called this morning and left a message on my phone that she wanted to discuss the results from the mole she sliced off my back and biopsied. Not a good sign. I called back and it was busy. Then I called again and it was busy. I may have done this several thousand times over the next few minutes. Finally someone answers and said she needs the doctor to talk to me, but she is with a patient. I said, "I am waiting to hear whether I have cancer or not, so I'd appreciate it if she would hurry." She seemed flustered and said she saw the doctor walking in the hall now and called her over for me. She told me the atypical mole is moderate. She said the bad moles come back minor, moderate, or severe. I said, "oh good, at least it's not severe." That was supposed to signal that I needed reassurance. She said no, moderate was just as bad as severe and we treat them the same.
WHAT?! My mole is equivalent to severe? "Severe?" That is a serious word! And she said they don't have an opening to remove it until the end of July. We're going to let my cancerous mole just grow like a weed while we sit around waiting. I DON'T THINK SO. I will dig that sucker out with my fingernails before then!
(Mind you, I have been to exactly one dermatologist visit in my life and know nothing except small details here and there about all the stuff Michael's dad is going through. The dermatologist had about 3 minutes with me, explained nothing, scraped a mole off my back, and kicked me out the door saying we'll call you if you have cancer. WHAT!? It was a long week waiting for those results. She spent 30 seconds on the phone with me telling me my mole is moderate, which is equal to severe. Bye. WHAT? I'm convinced that I wouldn't have freaked out so much if I hadn't been watching Tim suffer so much with this terrible disease.)
So, I cried and cried and cried. I texted my mom and sister and messaged Stephanie. Help! Pray! Then I prayed. I said over and over that no matter what, God is good. I sang praise songs in my mind. God giveth and God taketh away. I love Him. It will be okay.
But I was so disappointed I would die so young. I would never see Kara get married. I would never make it to my 20th wedding anniversary. It wasn't fair and this was so scary. I was in shock and clearly freaking out a bit all at the same time.
So, my mom comes right over and is already on the phone with her dermatologist. She handed me the phone and I set up an appointment with them for later this month, so the doctor can take a look at it, then we will schedule the removal of the mole. Okay, that's cool. It's better than the end of July!
Meanwhile I am crying on the phone saying Tim has tumors all over his body and I'm freaking out that I will be at that place next year. She is so sweet and reassuring. I appreciate that so much! Then she says I can keep calling back and see if there are cancelations. I said, can you check now? Wouldn't you know, while on the phone with them at 9:35, there is a 10:00 appointment available. My mom is already there to watch Kara and I was at the office by 9:45 (it's right down the street). I cried in the waiting room for 30 minutes while I filled out the paperwork and waited for them to call my name.
The nurse who talked to me at first was SO NICE too. She explained how moderate moles should be removed, but they don't always progress to anything bad! It could be fine, but they are removing it as a precaution. Already I was feeling better.
Then the doctor came in and gave me another full body scan (which was much more thorough than the other one!), which insurance won't pay for, but I don't care! He checked everything and explained to me why the "bad mole" is itchy - I'm having a slight allergic reaction to the antibiotic they used. No biggie!
He also explained all moles are SOMETHING. If they were to biopsy a perfectly perfect mole, it would come back "minor." He also reassured me that even severe moles don't always progress to something worse. He also told me the scale goes:
minor
moderate
severe
pre-cancer
cancer
melanoma
I felt so much better!
I am like 5 levels away from where I thought!
He also took the time to explain what the other things on my body were that I was concerned about - a new mole on my shoulder that is itchy, and another thing that I was worried about on my leg, which he gave me a pamphlet on - it isn't a mole, and it's benign and always will be benign.
They saw I was a crying mess and they were so sweet to me! I just needed them to take FIVE MINUTES to talk with me and explain what was going on. I really wasn't in there long at all.
I made an appointment for next week for them to remove the "bad mole" and he will cut off the one I don't like while he is in there (the big one on my back that sticks way out - he said that mole is perfectly perfect - it's beautiful - but he'll remove it if I want because it's uncomfortable and gets caught on things. Gross! lol). It's a super fast procedure and it's only local anesthesia, so I can drive myself and everything. I go back a week after that to have the stitches removed.
Praise God!! I KNOW He opened up that cancelation so I could get in so quickly. He loves me so much and I am so grateful.
The dermatologist I saw last week called this morning and left a message on my phone that she wanted to discuss the results from the mole she sliced off my back and biopsied. Not a good sign. I called back and it was busy. Then I called again and it was busy. I may have done this several thousand times over the next few minutes. Finally someone answers and said she needs the doctor to talk to me, but she is with a patient. I said, "I am waiting to hear whether I have cancer or not, so I'd appreciate it if she would hurry." She seemed flustered and said she saw the doctor walking in the hall now and called her over for me. She told me the atypical mole is moderate. She said the bad moles come back minor, moderate, or severe. I said, "oh good, at least it's not severe." That was supposed to signal that I needed reassurance. She said no, moderate was just as bad as severe and we treat them the same.
WHAT?! My mole is equivalent to severe? "Severe?" That is a serious word! And she said they don't have an opening to remove it until the end of July. We're going to let my cancerous mole just grow like a weed while we sit around waiting. I DON'T THINK SO. I will dig that sucker out with my fingernails before then!
(Mind you, I have been to exactly one dermatologist visit in my life and know nothing except small details here and there about all the stuff Michael's dad is going through. The dermatologist had about 3 minutes with me, explained nothing, scraped a mole off my back, and kicked me out the door saying we'll call you if you have cancer. WHAT!? It was a long week waiting for those results. She spent 30 seconds on the phone with me telling me my mole is moderate, which is equal to severe. Bye. WHAT? I'm convinced that I wouldn't have freaked out so much if I hadn't been watching Tim suffer so much with this terrible disease.)
So, I cried and cried and cried. I texted my mom and sister and messaged Stephanie. Help! Pray! Then I prayed. I said over and over that no matter what, God is good. I sang praise songs in my mind. God giveth and God taketh away. I love Him. It will be okay.
But I was so disappointed I would die so young. I would never see Kara get married. I would never make it to my 20th wedding anniversary. It wasn't fair and this was so scary. I was in shock and clearly freaking out a bit all at the same time.
So, my mom comes right over and is already on the phone with her dermatologist. She handed me the phone and I set up an appointment with them for later this month, so the doctor can take a look at it, then we will schedule the removal of the mole. Okay, that's cool. It's better than the end of July!
Meanwhile I am crying on the phone saying Tim has tumors all over his body and I'm freaking out that I will be at that place next year. She is so sweet and reassuring. I appreciate that so much! Then she says I can keep calling back and see if there are cancelations. I said, can you check now? Wouldn't you know, while on the phone with them at 9:35, there is a 10:00 appointment available. My mom is already there to watch Kara and I was at the office by 9:45 (it's right down the street). I cried in the waiting room for 30 minutes while I filled out the paperwork and waited for them to call my name.
The nurse who talked to me at first was SO NICE too. She explained how moderate moles should be removed, but they don't always progress to anything bad! It could be fine, but they are removing it as a precaution. Already I was feeling better.
Then the doctor came in and gave me another full body scan (which was much more thorough than the other one!), which insurance won't pay for, but I don't care! He checked everything and explained to me why the "bad mole" is itchy - I'm having a slight allergic reaction to the antibiotic they used. No biggie!
He also explained all moles are SOMETHING. If they were to biopsy a perfectly perfect mole, it would come back "minor." He also reassured me that even severe moles don't always progress to something worse. He also told me the scale goes:
minor
moderate
severe
pre-cancer
cancer
melanoma
I felt so much better!
I am like 5 levels away from where I thought!
He also took the time to explain what the other things on my body were that I was concerned about - a new mole on my shoulder that is itchy, and another thing that I was worried about on my leg, which he gave me a pamphlet on - it isn't a mole, and it's benign and always will be benign.
They saw I was a crying mess and they were so sweet to me! I just needed them to take FIVE MINUTES to talk with me and explain what was going on. I really wasn't in there long at all.
I made an appointment for next week for them to remove the "bad mole" and he will cut off the one I don't like while he is in there (the big one on my back that sticks way out - he said that mole is perfectly perfect - it's beautiful - but he'll remove it if I want because it's uncomfortable and gets caught on things. Gross! lol). It's a super fast procedure and it's only local anesthesia, so I can drive myself and everything. I go back a week after that to have the stitches removed.
Praise God!! I KNOW He opened up that cancelation so I could get in so quickly. He loves me so much and I am so grateful.
Comments
Not to mention, I am much more educated about my moles and will forever go every 6 months to stay as healthy as I can. I wish I started years ago! I hope I can get Michael to go. The doctor said I should have Kara looked at regularly starting now because she has melanoma in her family history.