Two Schools of Thought
I've come to notice there are two different ways to live when you have little kids. One is: we have kids, this house is their playground, let's have fun. The other is: this is my house too, we can have nice things and respect them while the kids play. I have friends that do one and friends that do the other.
My friends who do the first one kid proof their house and let their kids do anything. Climb anything, spill anything, mark up hardwood floors and carpet, markers whenever you want, food fights, the works. I do see why this is fun. The fun memories kids have of just being kids are endless. It's definitely the most fun house in the neighborhood. It's a non-uptight, low-stress way of living. (Depending on how you look at it. People who constantly mess up and dirty the house I have to clean would feel disrespectful to me. And they certainly can't go anywhere else acting like that.)
That transitions into the second option, which is how I was raised. Whether we had nice things or not, we were taught to respect what we own - hard earned money was used to purchase all of it. There was a way to play outside and a way to play inside. We weren't allowed to touch the walls. We weren't allowed to touch or pull on the curtains. We ate and drank only at the table. We colored/drew/wrote only at the table. We took our shoes off as soon as we came inside (so we wouldn't track all the dirt/germs/grime/animal feces/etc. inside). You see, both my parents worked full time (my mom did day care out of our home), plus they each had several part-time side jobs. They didn't have the time or energy to clean up after us because we played inside the way they felt we should play outside. Michael and I agreed together that this is the way we are raising Kara. Especially now that we have nicer things (new floors, etc), we want to protect our investment. Also, whenever Kara goes to another person's house, church, school, anywhere in public, I know she will treat it with respect and not destroy the place.
There are pros and cons to each thing (I think they're all fairly obvious). Either way, I think there are many ways to be a great parent and many ways to give your kids a super fun childhood.
Which side to you lean toward?
My friends who do the first one kid proof their house and let their kids do anything. Climb anything, spill anything, mark up hardwood floors and carpet, markers whenever you want, food fights, the works. I do see why this is fun. The fun memories kids have of just being kids are endless. It's definitely the most fun house in the neighborhood. It's a non-uptight, low-stress way of living. (Depending on how you look at it. People who constantly mess up and dirty the house I have to clean would feel disrespectful to me. And they certainly can't go anywhere else acting like that.)
That transitions into the second option, which is how I was raised. Whether we had nice things or not, we were taught to respect what we own - hard earned money was used to purchase all of it. There was a way to play outside and a way to play inside. We weren't allowed to touch the walls. We weren't allowed to touch or pull on the curtains. We ate and drank only at the table. We colored/drew/wrote only at the table. We took our shoes off as soon as we came inside (so we wouldn't track all the dirt/germs/grime/animal feces/etc. inside). You see, both my parents worked full time (my mom did day care out of our home), plus they each had several part-time side jobs. They didn't have the time or energy to clean up after us because we played inside the way they felt we should play outside. Michael and I agreed together that this is the way we are raising Kara. Especially now that we have nicer things (new floors, etc), we want to protect our investment. Also, whenever Kara goes to another person's house, church, school, anywhere in public, I know she will treat it with respect and not destroy the place.
There are pros and cons to each thing (I think they're all fairly obvious). Either way, I think there are many ways to be a great parent and many ways to give your kids a super fun childhood.
Which side to you lean toward?
Comments
Because Kara never eats, I do allow food in her room. I keep cheerios in there so she'll eat whenever she's hungry! Please eat! And I don't make anyone eat at the table if they don't want to. I wonder why I'm crazy relaxed on that one....
Liz, I do the same thing you do with the clothes - they get washed however you put them in the hamper. Starting in our new house, Kara will be doing her own laundry.
I am less strict than my parents were, but I have more free time than them too. I am firmly against standing/jumping on furniture for safety reasons, but I would pull the cushions off the couches for Kara to jump on on the floor. My parents never would have done that!
I'm with you guys - outside play is different than inside play. Clean up after yourselves. Etc. My reasoning is not only for mine and Michael's benefit (so we aren't living with a wild animal), but for Kara's benefit - I'm not setting her up for failure - teaching her all those things are okay then sending her out into a world where those things are not okay.