What I Learned

So, the renovation has come and gone, and what have I learned?

Before I ever renovated, I did not know what the big deal was.  People on HGTV would cry into the camera that they "couldn't take it any more" when they were 10 days into a renovation.  I would say, stop whining!  Your house is going to look great!  What was their problem anyway?  Then I started my own.  Please understand, I'm not complaining - I actually had a great experience and my contractor was super sweet the whole time.  I'm just trying to get everyone who hasn't gone through a renovation and is wondering how I could ever complain about it to understand.

I found it's very stressful to be home all day while there is hammering, sawing, etc going on downstairs.  Every sentence is interrupted and trying to teach Kara is a little stressful.  And each noise feels a bit like a shove or flick on the arm.  After a while, you want to shove someone back.

Having people in and out of the house all the time is a little invasive.  Keeping the schedule straight and being home so that this guy can come for that is difficult and you find that your schedule isn't yours - it's theirs.

I'm a list person - I need to have all my goals written down in an organized way so I can cross things off the list and be done.  Every day, there was so much to do, and my list kept growing and growing.  Maybe normal-brained people can handle that, but the ever increasing list I could never accomplish left me feeling like I was drowning.

I couldn't get down two flights of stairs to do laundry without being in someone's way.  And there was furniture EVERYWHERE and I couldn't get by without tripping...and spilling clothes....and pulling the plastic off the furniture.  So every time I walked by to change a load, fold, etc (which would be 5 times if I was doing 3 loads), I had to pick up clothes, rearrange the plastic, and dance after stubbing a toe.  BUT, I couldn't have the joy of doing laundry if it wasn't convenient for whatever trade was in my house that day.

Making decisions is difficult.  You might think, I'd love to say where each outlet should go.  Or, I'd love to pick the wall color.  You see, it's just too much to decide all at once.  I made literally 20-30 decisions a day, every day.  It was exhausting and I eventually started saying, "I don't care, can you just decide whatever you would like if it was your house?"

Being called downstairs to make a decision every 15 minutes, then being called upstairs by Kara every 30 minutes, then getting a phone call from my sister, etc. left me feeling pulled in different directions all day.  Not to mention I was trying to be a good wife, friend, daughter, sister, mother, Christian in my *free* time.  Yeah right.

Having the house looking like a bomb went off for 2 and a half months is stressful enough, but for me it was particularly difficult.  I understand my brain is crazy and not normal, but I know how to cope and I know what to do to make myself feel better and not so anxious.  Having a clean, organized, tidy house just leaves me feeling calm and peaceful.  Anytime it is not, I do not feel calm or peaceful.  Did I mention it was 2 and a half MONTHS?

Don't get me wrong, my contractor was great to work with.  My mom made us dinner EVERY night.  Michael was wonderful and really never complained once about the renovation, even though he was initially against it, and even ended up liking it and suggesting other renovations we can do again soon.  I was blessed to have very few things arrive damaged (and needing to be sent back) and nothing arrived completely wrong (both of those things always happen on HGTV, so I am feeling super blessed).  Kara was an absolute angel.  My friends were really sweet and understanding and let me go on and on and on about paint samples, appliance brands, and hardwood floor widths.  And in the end, I am living with a finished product I'm really happy with.  :-)

Wow, this post is getting really long.

So, what did I learn?  Through the stress and time and brain power that the renovation took, I realized something.  I've always known that I constantly try to do everything.  I don't say no and I want to believe I'm super woman.  (Every other woman is doing everything I am PLUS working part time PLUS crafting on pinterest.  What's wrong with me?)  I can do everything.  So, when I was overwhelmed, I continued on doing everything (like I usually do during a stressful time), but I wasn't super nice to live with (like usual during a stressful time).  I was frazzled.  So, I prayed about it and sought out advice from my best friend, Lara.  She said I needed to say no to some things.  Yes, she was right, but I felt better doing it because she told me to.  ;-)  Am I the only one like that?  I found I wasn't as good of a friend, sister, customer, volunteer, etc, but I was still a good mom and wife.  I dropped things like crazy (friends who had babies or surgery didn't get any meals or help from me, I had to take a month off from counting the tithe at church which KILLED me, I dropped out of one Bible study and scaled back on another, I couldn't travel like I wanted to, etc), so any free time I had I could spend being sweet to Michael and Kara.  You know what?  I don't regret a single minute of it.  :-)  My mom has always been good at this.  She doesn't have many friends (although, she's like Michael and doesn't care for many friends), she doesn't over commit herself to too many projects, and she is ALWAYS available for my dad, myself, and my sister.  We are #1 and we never feel slighted.  What a wonderful feeling that is.  So, that's how I'm going to treat my husband and daughter.