The Lord Will Provide
The last time I posted I was pretty pitiful. I had just had my second 4+ hours long panic attack in a fairly short time. First of all, let me say I am doing much better today.
The theme for my last few weeks has been the Lord will provide.
I hosted a church meeting last weekend and some of my friends that were there asked how I was doing. I found myself blurting out that I am really struggling with my thyroid and the extreme mood swings. One of those friends has major thyroid issues and knows a doctor that also goes to our church that helped her out. Before she left that night, I had the phone number of this doctor and a verbal approval that she would see me as a new patient this week. The Lord will provide. I wasn't really seeking out a new doctor, but it felt like one of those things that God was working on - a door He had opened - so I walked through it. The Lord will provide.
The doctor couldn't help with my thyroid until all the tests are done and the results are in, but she did have me hopeful about it. We talked about the big anxiety and depression swings I have been having. My sister reminded me that for the last 6 months or so, my anxiety has been really building, which could have been when my thyroid and nodules were growing. I mentioned all of that to the doctor and she recommended working on slowly changing my anxiety medicine.
All of that to say, Wednesday night was the first night I took the new medicine, but was also the night I just posted about with the 4 hour panic attack. (They normally last 45 minutes or so.) I was nervous about my trip since it takes a lot out of a person to be that sick, so my mom offered to go on the trip with me. The Lord will provide.
Thursday night I took my new medicine again, and prayed it would be a good night since we left first thing the next morning. I woke at 2am with a racing heartbeat. I could feel it beating out of my chest like I had just run a marathon. I took some medicine and went back to sleep an hour later. I woke at normal time to get ready for the trip, and had a racing heart again. I felt fine other than that. My apple watch said my resting heart rate was 113 (when it is usually around 80). I think my anxiety was up again, but thanks to my new medicine, I only felt the racing pulse. The Lord will provide.
The car ride went very well, thanks to my mom, who is very comforting to me. We joked that she is my anxiety service dog, and she said she would like one of those vests that says "I am working, please do not pet." lol! She agreed to drive whenever I didn't want to, she grocery shopped with me for Vicky's shower, she slept with Kara in the hotel so I could have my own bed. She was so helpful. The Lord will provide.
I woke up after a pretty good night's sleep in the hotel feeling a normal pulse. Sure enough, my apple watch said 80 bpm. I think I really like this new medicine. The Lord will provide.
I had so much fun planning Vicky's shower. Jessica and I texted a bunch, planned ideas on Pinterest, I shopped with my other Jessica, planned flowers with my mom, it was a team effort and a blast. Something people had been asking me about was where I would get the cupcakes for the shower. I decided it was one detail I just couldn't think through and I trusted it would just work itself out. Sure enough, I got to Walmart and they had 12 pretty cupcakes with white frosting on them, just like I wanted. I needed more like 24, but that was good enough. As I picked them up to put in my cart, I saw 12 more behind them!! A detail I just couldn't fret about and call ahead to order and I just needed to trust would work, had come through beautifully. The Lord will provide.
After a wonderful visit with Michael's family, we headed home. As soon as we got into the thick of the beautiful Great Smokey National Park, I heard a 'ding.' I looked at my dash board to see I was low on gas! There are no exits, no food, no gas, nothing in the Park. Just when I got too far to try to turn around or anything, my precious gas in my tank was dangerously low. I just prayed that when we ran out of gas we would have cell reception in the middle of the towering mountains so I could call AAA to come bring us gas. Then I remembered the gas station we stopped at that one Christmas Eve on the way home from NC. I couldn't remember how close it was, but I had 25 miles until we were going to coast to the curb. Sure enough, when I got below 20 miles, we saw the sign for the gas station. The Lord will provide.
I feel God's love and I also feel loved by everyone I know who is praying for me. Vicky's church, Aunt Donna, my parents, Jessica. All of you are praying for me and God is providing! I feel like these are all little miracles, just for me.
I feel encouraged these next few procedures will go well and when it is all said and done, something will be done to help make me feel like a functioning human adult again.
Thank you so much for praying and please continue to do so. It is super outside my comfort zone to ask so many people to pray, but I am doing it anyway. I appreciate it and will continue to give God the glory for all His little 'miracles.'
Even cupcake miracles.
The theme for my last few weeks has been the Lord will provide.
I hosted a church meeting last weekend and some of my friends that were there asked how I was doing. I found myself blurting out that I am really struggling with my thyroid and the extreme mood swings. One of those friends has major thyroid issues and knows a doctor that also goes to our church that helped her out. Before she left that night, I had the phone number of this doctor and a verbal approval that she would see me as a new patient this week. The Lord will provide. I wasn't really seeking out a new doctor, but it felt like one of those things that God was working on - a door He had opened - so I walked through it. The Lord will provide.
The doctor couldn't help with my thyroid until all the tests are done and the results are in, but she did have me hopeful about it. We talked about the big anxiety and depression swings I have been having. My sister reminded me that for the last 6 months or so, my anxiety has been really building, which could have been when my thyroid and nodules were growing. I mentioned all of that to the doctor and she recommended working on slowly changing my anxiety medicine.
All of that to say, Wednesday night was the first night I took the new medicine, but was also the night I just posted about with the 4 hour panic attack. (They normally last 45 minutes or so.) I was nervous about my trip since it takes a lot out of a person to be that sick, so my mom offered to go on the trip with me. The Lord will provide.
Thursday night I took my new medicine again, and prayed it would be a good night since we left first thing the next morning. I woke at 2am with a racing heartbeat. I could feel it beating out of my chest like I had just run a marathon. I took some medicine and went back to sleep an hour later. I woke at normal time to get ready for the trip, and had a racing heart again. I felt fine other than that. My apple watch said my resting heart rate was 113 (when it is usually around 80). I think my anxiety was up again, but thanks to my new medicine, I only felt the racing pulse. The Lord will provide.
The car ride went very well, thanks to my mom, who is very comforting to me. We joked that she is my anxiety service dog, and she said she would like one of those vests that says "I am working, please do not pet." lol! She agreed to drive whenever I didn't want to, she grocery shopped with me for Vicky's shower, she slept with Kara in the hotel so I could have my own bed. She was so helpful. The Lord will provide.
I woke up after a pretty good night's sleep in the hotel feeling a normal pulse. Sure enough, my apple watch said 80 bpm. I think I really like this new medicine. The Lord will provide.
I had so much fun planning Vicky's shower. Jessica and I texted a bunch, planned ideas on Pinterest, I shopped with my other Jessica, planned flowers with my mom, it was a team effort and a blast. Something people had been asking me about was where I would get the cupcakes for the shower. I decided it was one detail I just couldn't think through and I trusted it would just work itself out. Sure enough, I got to Walmart and they had 12 pretty cupcakes with white frosting on them, just like I wanted. I needed more like 24, but that was good enough. As I picked them up to put in my cart, I saw 12 more behind them!! A detail I just couldn't fret about and call ahead to order and I just needed to trust would work, had come through beautifully. The Lord will provide.
After a wonderful visit with Michael's family, we headed home. As soon as we got into the thick of the beautiful Great Smokey National Park, I heard a 'ding.' I looked at my dash board to see I was low on gas! There are no exits, no food, no gas, nothing in the Park. Just when I got too far to try to turn around or anything, my precious gas in my tank was dangerously low. I just prayed that when we ran out of gas we would have cell reception in the middle of the towering mountains so I could call AAA to come bring us gas. Then I remembered the gas station we stopped at that one Christmas Eve on the way home from NC. I couldn't remember how close it was, but I had 25 miles until we were going to coast to the curb. Sure enough, when I got below 20 miles, we saw the sign for the gas station. The Lord will provide.
I feel God's love and I also feel loved by everyone I know who is praying for me. Vicky's church, Aunt Donna, my parents, Jessica. All of you are praying for me and God is providing! I feel like these are all little miracles, just for me.
I feel encouraged these next few procedures will go well and when it is all said and done, something will be done to help make me feel like a functioning human adult again.
Thank you so much for praying and please continue to do so. It is super outside my comfort zone to ask so many people to pray, but I am doing it anyway. I appreciate it and will continue to give God the glory for all His little 'miracles.'
Even cupcake miracles.
Comments