Lists
It's no secret that I am a type A, list kind of girl. I like making a list, crossing things off, and getting things done. It makes me feel good and it's how I remember things.
Now, skip to my therapy sessions. I'm working on my anxiety. I'm trying to be less of a planner, live life more day-to-day, and not be ruled by lists. I didn't want things on my lists to have priority over more important things. I let my house get a little dirtier, lived day-to-day, and saw that life goes on just fine.
Except that it didn't.
I spent the whole time feeling....overwhelmed. That's the word I kept using. It was a panicky, disorganized, constantly feeling behind kind of deal. I had a lot going on, like usual, and I didn't do those things efficiently or actually very well at all. (Thank you cards fell through the cracks, housework hardly ever got done, doctor's appointments didn't get made, and I wasn't as good a friend, mom, wife, etc.) I couldn't handle them and was very anxious about every day. I felt like I needed a vacation - to get away. Which turned into wanting to run away.
So, today I am 'back on the lists.' I'm trying to get back to being myself, without the anxiety. Lists are definitely what I need, but I won't let them rule me.
Today I am checking things off, getting everything done, and feeling AWESOME. I feel like myself, my mind is clear, and I feel very productive.
Now, to keep it helpful, productive, healthy.
Aren't you glad you don't have the anxiety problems I do? My brain is broken, I tell you. As you can see, therapy is helping me re-train my brain. I'm getting there....
Now, skip to my therapy sessions. I'm working on my anxiety. I'm trying to be less of a planner, live life more day-to-day, and not be ruled by lists. I didn't want things on my lists to have priority over more important things. I let my house get a little dirtier, lived day-to-day, and saw that life goes on just fine.
Except that it didn't.
I spent the whole time feeling....overwhelmed. That's the word I kept using. It was a panicky, disorganized, constantly feeling behind kind of deal. I had a lot going on, like usual, and I didn't do those things efficiently or actually very well at all. (Thank you cards fell through the cracks, housework hardly ever got done, doctor's appointments didn't get made, and I wasn't as good a friend, mom, wife, etc.) I couldn't handle them and was very anxious about every day. I felt like I needed a vacation - to get away. Which turned into wanting to run away.
So, today I am 'back on the lists.' I'm trying to get back to being myself, without the anxiety. Lists are definitely what I need, but I won't let them rule me.
Today I am checking things off, getting everything done, and feeling AWESOME. I feel like myself, my mind is clear, and I feel very productive.
Now, to keep it helpful, productive, healthy.
Aren't you glad you don't have the anxiety problems I do? My brain is broken, I tell you. As you can see, therapy is helping me re-train my brain. I'm getting there....
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