Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Your Anger....Or Should You
Ephesians 4:26b says "do not let the sun go down on your anger." There are many versions of the Bible, but they all say something close to that. But let's take a look at that whole section of Ephesians 4 - verses 17-32 say this:
"17 Here is what I’m telling you. I am speaking for the Lord as I warn you. You must no longer live as the Gentiles do. Their thoughts don’t have any purpose. 18 They can’t understand the truth. They are separated from the life of God. That’s because they don’t know him. And they don’t know him because their hearts are stubborn. 19 They have lost all feeling for what is right. So they have given themselves over to all kinds of evil pleasures. They take part in every kind of unclean act. And they are full of greed.20 But that is not the way of life in Christ that you learned about. 21 You heard about Christ and were taught about life in him. What you learned was the truth about Jesus. 22 You were taught not to live the way you used to. You must get rid of your old way of life. That’s because it has been made impure by the desire for things that lead you astray. 23 You were taught to be made new in your thinking. 24 You were taught to start living a new life. It is created to be truly good and holy, just as God is.25 So each of you must get rid of your lying. Speak the truth to your neighbor. We are all parts of one body. 26 Scripture says, “When you are angry, do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. 27 Don’t give the devil a chance. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must never steal again. Instead, they must work. They must do something useful with their own hands. Then they will have something to give to people in need.29 Don’t let any evil talk come out of your mouths. Say only what will help to build others up and meet their needs. Then what you say will help those who listen. 30 Do not make God’s Holy Spirit mourn. The Holy Spirit is the proof that you belong to God. And the Spirit is the proof that God will set you completely free. 31 Get rid of all hard feelings, anger and rage. Stop all fighting and lying. Don’t have anything to do with any kind of hatred. 32 Be kind and tender to one another. Forgive one another, just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done."
(This is the New International Readers Version of the Bible - a version that breaks the language down into very understandable language.)
I love the heart of this. For me, it comes down to vs 29-32.
I hear people use vs 26 in their marriages, insisting they not go to bed angry at each other - that they hash it out and make it right before they go to sleep. If that works for you, you aren't the ones I am talking to. However, I thought I would just mention, this does not work for Michael and I. When I am upset, I need time to chill, time to pray, time to decide if something is really important to me, or something that I am emotional about. In our house, we go to bed angry, but are never mean to each other. We put off whatever needs talked about until we are calm. For us (especially me), it's the only time I can say "only what will help build Michael up and meet his needs." Then I can reach vs 32 "be kind and tender to one another. Forgive one another, just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done."
What do you think? Have you ever had times in your marriage where it was better to talk about "it" later?
P.S. Michael and I are not fighting. I just heard from two different places "don't let the sun go down on your anger" and just wanted to put a different spin on it.
"17 Here is what I’m telling you. I am speaking for the Lord as I warn you. You must no longer live as the Gentiles do. Their thoughts don’t have any purpose. 18 They can’t understand the truth. They are separated from the life of God. That’s because they don’t know him. And they don’t know him because their hearts are stubborn. 19 They have lost all feeling for what is right. So they have given themselves over to all kinds of evil pleasures. They take part in every kind of unclean act. And they are full of greed.20 But that is not the way of life in Christ that you learned about. 21 You heard about Christ and were taught about life in him. What you learned was the truth about Jesus. 22 You were taught not to live the way you used to. You must get rid of your old way of life. That’s because it has been made impure by the desire for things that lead you astray. 23 You were taught to be made new in your thinking. 24 You were taught to start living a new life. It is created to be truly good and holy, just as God is.25 So each of you must get rid of your lying. Speak the truth to your neighbor. We are all parts of one body. 26 Scripture says, “When you are angry, do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. 27 Don’t give the devil a chance. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must never steal again. Instead, they must work. They must do something useful with their own hands. Then they will have something to give to people in need.29 Don’t let any evil talk come out of your mouths. Say only what will help to build others up and meet their needs. Then what you say will help those who listen. 30 Do not make God’s Holy Spirit mourn. The Holy Spirit is the proof that you belong to God. And the Spirit is the proof that God will set you completely free. 31 Get rid of all hard feelings, anger and rage. Stop all fighting and lying. Don’t have anything to do with any kind of hatred. 32 Be kind and tender to one another. Forgive one another, just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done."
(This is the New International Readers Version of the Bible - a version that breaks the language down into very understandable language.)
I love the heart of this. For me, it comes down to vs 29-32.
I hear people use vs 26 in their marriages, insisting they not go to bed angry at each other - that they hash it out and make it right before they go to sleep. If that works for you, you aren't the ones I am talking to. However, I thought I would just mention, this does not work for Michael and I. When I am upset, I need time to chill, time to pray, time to decide if something is really important to me, or something that I am emotional about. In our house, we go to bed angry, but are never mean to each other. We put off whatever needs talked about until we are calm. For us (especially me), it's the only time I can say "only what will help build Michael up and meet his needs." Then I can reach vs 32 "be kind and tender to one another. Forgive one another, just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done."
What do you think? Have you ever had times in your marriage where it was better to talk about "it" later?
P.S. Michael and I are not fighting. I just heard from two different places "don't let the sun go down on your anger" and just wanted to put a different spin on it.
Comments